Thursday, April 25, 2013

I'm feeling blue . . . .

SO blue.








I am still unsure if I am failing my stupid zoology class, so until I get my test back it is a mystery. I mean I know I failed it but I am unsure if my teacher is going to give us a second try at it (without a second try I will fail this class.) 

Best case scenario here is how my final grades will go: Zoology -C
                                                                                       Art History -A
                                                                                       Environmental Geology -B
                                                                                       Philosophy -NO CLUE (B?)

That is a 3.0... very very very mediochre. It's like no matter how hard I try I just barely get by. Whether it is school related, money, sleep, workouts... I don't know. I guess lately I just feel like I can barely meet the mark on everything I do and it is quite depressing.

School is really hard and I am not sure how to improve myself because I am really trying, but I guess just try harder. I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing that I am struggling in only my first year of college. It's okay I suppose because I am still trying to get used to it all but this is also the easiest part of schooling, it will only get harder.. 

And I also really miss my friends, and honestly just anyone familiar. I am so happy to be away from everyone that I have been around growing up and I can finally breath but at the same time it is all such unfamiliar territory and I do not feel taken care of and it is a scary feeling. I am as comfortable as can be with myself but the human desire to be taken care of is just lingering within me. 

I want to take a shower and eat chocolate but I feel too sick to move. Sickness from worry and stress? I don't know.. I am considering retail therapy because of some online sales but at the same time I am so broke it isn't even funny. Ugh. What to do. What to do. 

Mehhhhhhhh,
-the sad one

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