take me somewhere cloudy

All I have had wanted for so long is for summer to hurry up and get here. All I have ever needed is the ocean. But let me tell you, right now I want nothing more than to hop on a plane and head to Europe, maybe London or Paris.. with the perfect man of my dreams and to have nothing to worry about but love and enjoying the adventure.

I literally think that once everything in my life comes together, something comes out of no where to screw it all up. I am so so thrilled to live the beach life, blessed even, but I don't want it right now. I want to be far from where I am an all the pressure and responsibility I have here.

Yesterday I walked into my class to find that we had a test.. one of our three tests that we have in the whole semester. It was completely my fault because I didn't double check but I was under the impression that the test was on Thursday.. And I know that Leaving only two days to study for a test that big doesn't sound like adequate enough time, but trust me.. I am a damn good crammer.

This is what I looked like in front of the whole class..

So long story short, myself and one other girl who thinks that she failed the test are in the process of begging our professor to give a retake. If he does not allow a retake then I will fail this class and not be able to transfer to the school of my dreams, so in the scheme of things this is a HUGE deal.

I am just so sick of little big things happening like this. Is this just what happens in life? Nothing ever going smoothly? I'm just sick of the roller coaster and I want off.

So for now I am just waiting to receive an email back from my professor with sick butterflies in my stomach. When I feel like this all I want to do is nothing.. but I have to muster up the strength to go do my marathon training for the day. Maybe it'll help clear my head?

I'm literally praying it will work out.. and it always does but I don't know how this one will go. Who knows.

And I am still sick over trying to figure out where I am going to stay for a couple weeks in the beginning of the summer.. I am not going home from school for the summer but my lease doesn't cross over perfectly so I am going to be homeless and I don't know what to do.. ahhhhh.

Oh well. I am so clearly not in control. Here's to working out! I really don't want to.. but I can't miss a day.

WOWO,
(worries and kisses)
-Me